As a wellness coach, my success and reputation are dependent on people achieving their goals as a result of our work together. As one of my client said, “I want this to be more than just another fancy journal with a fancy cover, pretty illustrations and beautiful writings that would demand I live up to it beauty. With this journaling experience, I hope to get a safe space. I want it to be about getting down and dirty. I want the healing and self-discovery it promises.”
And so it was.
As another client said, "Where would I have been without my journal? It has become the friend I didn't know I needed. I have used and abused it more than any person would have tolerated. But it was always there waiting for me; I could say absolutely anything and there was never a judgment, never a criticism. It was totally accepting and totally present; it gave me a chance to be me and demanded nothing in return. I could carry it around with me, snatching bits and pieces of time, and it never wanted more. I could grab it in the middle of the night, and it never asked for less. I never had to start over; I never had to apologize. What a blessed gift."
My success in selling journals that I thoughtfully designed for my client's healing and wellness journeys has inspired today's post. I want to tell you exactly why a journal is the perfect gift for this Christmas and the coming new year. A gift for yourself or a loved one.
1. Discover the writer within you.
If you have told yourself for years that writing isn’t fun, give it one more chance. You’ll find that your journal doesn’t care if you spell words correctly, put commas in the proper place, or scribble in the margins. You can draw a picture, write in circles around the page, write big and sloppy or tiny and precise.
Journal writing is a near-perfect hobby: inexpensive, always available, no special equipment or skills required, expandable or contractable to fit any time allotment. And for those of you who take care of others at the expense of taking care of yourself (you know who you are!), your journal can be a bottomless well of self-nurturing. When you replace a “performance” expectation with an “enjoyment” expectation, you’re likely to surprise yourself at how much better you like what you write!
2. Keep a record for the future of how your life unfolds.
It is the nature of the human psyche to move toward wholeness and growth; each of us holds at our core a deep desire to become “more of who we really are.” Your journal will serve as scribe throughout the journey of your life, obligingly recording your own uniquely forged path. There is something very magical about going back into your life and observing it from the vantage point of a month or a year or 10 years later.
Your journal will stand as a chronicle of your growth, your hopes, your fears, your dreams, your ambitions, your sorrows, your serendipities.
3. Get to know all the different parts of yourself.
Psychologically as well as physically, each of us is made up of many different pieces; we are human jigsaw puzzles. The Italian psychologist Roberto Assagioli called these different parts of ourselves “sub-personalities.” Our sub-personalities are like a wardrobe full of mental and emotional costumes; we “dress up” in one or another to fit the changing situations and circumstances of our lives.
For example, most of us have some variation of an Inner Critic or Perfectionist sub-personality that unrealistically expects us to do everything without error. Other sub-personalities familiar to many women include Competent Woman, Supermom, Dutiful Daughter, Ms. PMS, the Clinging Vine, Nurturing Mother, Scared Little Girl, and the High Priestess. You’re undoubtedly familiar with some of your own sub-personalities but there are other sub-personalities with which you may not be very familiar. Assagioli called these the “shadow” sub-personalities, because the light of your own awareness has not yet touched them and allowed them to come forward for recognition and integration. These may be the parts of yourself that deal with anger or fear or sexuality; you may even think that they don’t exist at all.
Your journal can serve as a magic mirror into which you can gaze and see reflected back to you the various parts of yourself. And as you come to know and love your many parts, as you learn how your sub-personalities have helped you meet your needs and stay safe, as you learn to ask the gentle questions “How can I help you?” and “What do you need from me?” you will find that more and more of yourself is integrating into your Self.
4. Take advantage of “a friend in need” and a valuable tool in the therapeutic process.
Certainly one of the most important uses of the journal is its tremendous potential as a therapeutic tool, whether in a program of counseling with a trained expert or in a self-designed program of personal process.
My own journaling experience as a trauma survivor and wellness coach, tells me that when a journal is used in conjunction with a program of therapy, in most cases the client moves through issues more quickly and integrates new learnings more readily. As a coach, I designed a wellness program for healing and self-discovery and I use journal prompts as “homework” to be completed between sessions. If you are currently undergoing counseling, talk to your therapist about incorporating your journal into the work you do together. It will not only help your therapist to be more effective, but there is a two-fold benefit for you, as well: First, you can save yourself both money and time because the journal generally helps to accelerate the therapeutic process. Second, your journal is a valuable tool for empowering you with problem-solving and self-processing skills when your therapeutic relationship is completed. Through journaling, you can also learn to act as your own therapist, working yourself through problems, coming to new levels of discovery, asking yourself questions and letting yourself answer them.
5. Heal your relationships.
If your relationship conflicts involve people who are active and present in your life, the journal can provide a safe forum in which to vent strong feelings that may not be appropriate for direct expression. In other words, in your journal you can cuss out your boss, scream at your mother, and yell at your spouse to your heart’s content. This discharges the emotion and leaves you sane and sensible for an actual conversation, in which you’ll likely find yourself able not only to state your wants and needs in an assertive manner but also to listen to the other’s point of view, as well.
6. Access information stored in the subconscious and unconscious minds.
The journal and the process of writing, will help draw information from your subconscious and unconscious minds and brings it to the surface, where you can work at the conscious level.
7. “Explore your Creativity”
Write a poem. Add some music; sing a song. Doodle out a short story. Paint a picture with words. Your journal is a forgiving canvas for expressions of creativity that you feared were dead and buried.
8. Track the cycles, patterns, and trends of your life.
You’ll love the way the journal helps you identify your personal patterns. Over time, you will begin to notice and plan for your down times, your creative times, your introspective times. For example, if you suffer from PMS, after only a few months, you’ll probably be able to pinpoint the days of your cycle when you are most susceptible to irritability or gloominess—and you can plan your business and personal life accordingly.
Also, if you aspire to improve yourself, it is virtually impossible to successfully change long-term habits until the behaviors and belief systems associated with the habits are isolated and pinpointed. That's where your journal comes in.
Of course, these aren’t the only reasons to write a journal. Among other things, the journal can help you get(and stay) in touch with your feelings, develop spontaneity, develop self-discipline, try on new behaviors and beliefs, imagine your own possibilities, or make your fantasies real. It doesn’t really matter which reason you choose. Just remember to have fun, try new things, and enjoy the journey.
Comments