What do Lupita Nyong'o, Meryl Streep, Tina Fay, Kate Winslet, Ryan Reynolds, and Gabriel García Márquez have in common? At various stages of their hugely successful careers, they have all felt like frauds or imposters, that they did not have the skills or abilities that other people think they had.
These are famous examples of Imposter syndrome.
Maybe you recently landed a promotion? You started managing a team? Or you have been appointed to lead a project. Or maybe you landed a full scholarship to collage. It should be a moment of celebration but you feel like you do not deserve any of it?
Yes? Welcome to the club! You too have experienced the crippling effects of Imposter syndrome. It happens to the best of us—even if you have never heard of it.
Imposter syndrome occurs when we feel like a fraud—when we feel that our successes are undeserved. We convince ourselves they are based on luck, timing, or other factors outside of our control, instead of embracing the fact that we are actually responsible for having made those successes happen. Imposter syndrome makes us think irrationally about our aptitudes and performance: We do not believe we have excelled, and we do not believe we deserve the rewards that come along with our success.
The irony is that the further you go in your career, the more opportunities there are for imposter syndrome to rear its ugly head.
The first time I felt imposter syndrome was last year when I was promoted to Human Resource Manager of more than 300 employees. I got the corner office with the view. It was what I had been working towards. But despite the evidence of my successes, I could not shake the feeling that soon enough, someone would put part my work under a microscope and find all the perspectives I had not dared to considered and all the errors I had not fully fleshed out.
If you are reading this, chances are that at some point in your career, you too, have felt imposter syndrome.
In this post we identify Imposter syndrome and how we can take steps to deal with it in the workplace, in academia or in relationships.
See whether you can identify with the following thoughts or behaviors:
In the workplace:
"This is time I won’t be able to meet their expectations. They will find out I don’t know very much."
"I might forget something during the presentation. It might be really important and I will look stupid."
"I’ll make a mistake. People will see how incompetent I am. They will realize that the appearance of confidence is just a facade. "
"I don't really know how to do my job. I'm improvising. Everyone else seems to be competent and professional."
"My appointment to this position in the first place was just luck, or because I managed to fool people into thinking I was the right candidate. I don't really have talent."
"I need constant praise to give me a sense of self-worth."
In an academic setting:
"I'm not very intelligent- everyone but me seems to understand what's going on."
"My secondary education wasn't as good as everyone else's."
"I don't know why I'm doing this course. I made a mistake choosing this subject."
"I miss home. I wish I could drop out and leave, but I don't want to be a disappointment. I'll just have to try."
"Why couldn't I have been something simple, like an artist?"
Socially:
"If people knew how stupid and awkward I really am, they would avoid me life the plague."
"I pretend I'm confident and the life and soul of the gathering but actually I'm terrified. Someone's bound to discover what a fake I am before long."
It is important to tackle the "Imposter syndrome" as soon as we spot it. Often that means not being so hard on ourselves. Try these tips:
In the workplace:
I have done well in the past. I know I will be able to do some of the job at least. If I do my normal effort it’s likely to be OK. They have told me that I’m doing well.
I have my notes so I can not forget the main points. And if I forget something minor, no one will even notice and I can follow up on it later.
People make mistakes all the time. A mistake does not wipe out my other achievements.
If you have started a new job and feel overwhelmed or fraudulent, do not worry. All your professional colleagues once struggled just as hard to find their feet.
Remember, you have the qualifications and experience for the job, or you would not have got it. You simply need to adjust to the system and routine of the company.
Introduce yourself and ask what others do. Do not be afraid of saying you do not understand something- most people are glad to help, and appreciate honesty. You are allowed to be confused and bewildered sometime; it is not an indication of stupidity.
Try to find out more about the company you work for; what it does, who it's clients are and what it's profile is. Read the company brochures or look it up on the internet.
Do not try to compensate for feeling of fakeness by substituting long hours. You will be setting yourself up for failure of you start of by overworking.
If you think you are clinically depressed, and can not shake off your feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy, go for professional counseling.
In an academic setting:
Be your own parent. Look after yourself- do not get involved socially in what you do not feel ready to do.
It takes time to make friends, and you are not the only newcomer here. Let things develop at their own place.
Do not be afraid to ask lecturers and teachers questions. It is their job to help confused students: they will kot laugh at you.
Work out a routine that allows you enough time to do your assignment, but still allows you enough leisure hours.
Reward yourself when you succeed in doing an assignment. If you continue to suffer self-doubt after four months, make an appointment with a counselor or supervisor. Sometimes talking through the confusion removes it.
In relationships:
Initiate a discussion. Tell your friend or lover you feel like a fake, that you pretend to be tough when you are really just a nervous wreck. It is very likely their response will be: "I alps often feel like a fake...."
When you for new friendships, or meet a new man/woman, be as honest as possible without becoming an utter bore about your insecurities.
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