Life is full of experiences that can either guide us, direct us, or attempt to destroy us. I like to think of life as a journey on a ship of experiences. Ten years ago, right at the beginning of my second attempt at a romantic relationship in college, a tidal wave in the form of a traumatic Friday night, came crashing over the side of my ship. I nearly drowned in the anxiety, depression and body dysphoria that followed. Talk about a wave that stopped my ship right in its tracks with a screeching halt! I found myself bailing out water for weeks, months and years. Navigating this trauma, my wellness and mental health struggles meant my twenties, which were intended to be carefree, were filled with times of worry, fear, pain, sadness, paranoia, quiet rage, isolation, and lots and lots of masking and dissociation. The panic years, is what I call that season of my life.
There have been many more tidal waves since then but my growth and healing has continued to amaze me. I have developed the ability to take each new day and each new challenge head on with grace, perseverance, and most importantly with an amazing sense of humor.
Through this journey, I have realized the true meaning of life which is the rare beauty and value each person brings to their own unique vessel. I have also learned to be truly present and treasure every single moment God has given me. Also, I have learned the vital importance of following one’s dreams. I would not be standing here, or sitting here today to be more precise, pursuing my lifelong dream of being a great wife, a successful writer, an inspiring entrepreneur, and wellness coach, with the amazing support of the beautiful community I have built around me. My strength and resilience, together with their undying sacrifices, prayers, strength, love, and support, and God have truly been the wind beneath my sails.
Through sharing these journeys with you, I hope to show you that all things are possible and to never give up on yourself or your dreams. Anyway, on to today's agenda.
Here are the three guiding principles that have got me this far:
1. Now is Always The Best Moment!
We spend our lives waiting for something to happen that will give us permission to be well and happy. We are waiting to move our, waiting to fall in love, waiting to find a better job, waiting to lose weight, waiting to get our certification, waiting to get a promotion, waiting to redo the kitchen, waiting to move into a new home, waiting, waiting, waiting.
Waiting is a state of mind that never ends until that moment when you realize NOW is the best moment! That does not have to mean that NOW is the happiest moment, but it is always the moment you are most alive.
You do not want to end up in a hospital bed at the end of your life saying, “I wish, I regret, I should have, I could have.” And there’s only one way and one word to change that attitude: NOW.
NOW is the best moment! That does not have to mean that NOW is the happiest moment, but it is always the moment you are most alive.
2. Journal Writing Gives You Superpowers
What if a daily 10-minute journal writing routine gave you superpowers? I can’t promise you the ability shoot lasers from your eyes, but I can promise you that by writing in your journal consistently, you can have a positive effect on your brain, and this will make you more productive, more focused on your goals, less distracted, and less anxious; it can even make you more energized, and better able to deal with life’s challenges and unexpected hiccups.
In short, it’s like having the amazing power of “hyper focus,” or the amazing ability to “gain instant clarity.” It’s just that, well, no, you won’t be able to shoot eye lasers or something. I’m being tongue and cheek, but I’m also very serious about this because I believe strongly in it. What I call “intentional” journal writing can help you craft the kind of life you’ve always wanted.
3. Wellness is a State of Mind.
On my way to make journal deliveries in town today, I noticed countless beauty and makeup ads, fitness studios, beauty salons, personal trainer ads, health clubs, and clothing stores. We go to great lengths for our bodies; but what do we do for our minds? Where are the mental fitness studios and mind salons? Where are the personal trainers for the brain?
A balanced state of wellness cleanses and strengthens the body and the mind. If you are looking to be happier, to fulfill your potential, to gain a competitive advantage, to heal mental health issues, herein lies the power of . . . Wait. Before I say the word that has been associated with the worst kind of stigma, let me just say “it” is like easing your mind into a hot tub on a cold night. “It” is like the most loving hands massaging your mind after a stressful day. “It” is . . . therapy.
Once you find the right mental health professional and/or wellness coach, it is like a trip to your Inner Mombasa. I equate the feeling of regularly going to therapy or attending your coaching sessions, with sipping a cocktail on a beach while getting a foot rub and watching the sunset.
Yet, so many say, “I want to try healing, self-discovery and seeking wellness, in the future. But not today. It’s not a necessity fro me.”
Why is something with so many benefits . . . so difficult to embrace?
Your brain is the most complex object ever discovered in the universe. If you took a piece of your brain no bigger than the tip of a pen and stretched out all the neurons, they would extend two miles in length. That is how intricate the circuitry is in your brain. Yet with all that power, the average human has a loss of attention six to eight times per minute. With all our know-how, all our technology, all our expertise, we do not know how to harness our own brains.
In my coaching practice, I have tried to make wellness accessible, and something that you will actually look forward to. This is just one step, the next step is for you to reach out and purchase a wellness journal or sign up my coaching program so I can be a gentle guide through your healing and self-discovery journey.
4. Happy is The New Healthy.
Psychologist Ed Diener released a study showing that happiness is based on frequency of positive experience, not intensity of positive experience. Instead of saving all your joy for that glass of red wine after work, the science shows that you will be happier spreading happiness throughout your day.
A big beautiful meal at breakfast, a walk in the sunshine after lunch, some delicious exotic chocolate bar mid- afternoon, and a little jazz to wind down before heading home to catch a glimpse of that gorgeous crescent moon. A orgasm before drifting off to sleep wouldn't hurt either. None of these takes more than a few minutes, yet stacked together; they can turn an otherwise ordinary day into one for the ages. Sounds easy enough. Yet how often do you put your head on the pillow at night and not remember a single moment from your day? Do you have enough time to spend with your lover, to enjoy nature, to listen to music, to read a book? Do you feel like your life is slipping through your fingertips? Am I asking too many questions?
5. Never wait to celebrate.
There are many ways to miss out on living life. Stressed for time. Anxious for money. Drowning in minutiae.
There are many ways to enjoy life. Taking it easy. Pushing your limits. Following your passion.
There are many ways to taste life. Sweet, sour, salty.
There is only one way and one word to CELEBRATE life. That word is NOW. Never wait to celebrate.
"The one who honors the simple pleasures and small victories wins the game of life over and over again. "
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