Let’s imagine a really rough couple of weeks where you’re irritable, physically tense, and generally stressed. Your body can’t relax and your thinking is accelerated because your mind is working overtime trying to find solutions. You can’t find the switch to turn it all off, so you’re also struggling with insomnia, which is making your body and mind even less resilient.
Or let’s consider a different picture, where things aren’t going your way and, instead of growing anxious, you’re slipping into a funk. Your self-esteem is hitting bottom, you’re withdrawing from the world, and you’re feeling like you want to give up. And if you don’t start feeling better, you might even try using alcohol, weed, or worse to bring about some relief—unhealthy coping strategies that bring their own sets of problems. This all leads to a downward spiral:
sustained stress → feeling miserable → erosion of physical and mental resilience → diminished judgment and unclear thinking → maladaptive behavior → creation of more stressful situations → feeling more miserable.
You can see where this leads.
So what do you do instead?
When I am having one of those days, moments or seasons in life, I do something called visualizing.
To cheer myself up, I like to think out a great moment that I hope will happen in the future, or I think back on one of the happiest days of my life, and appreciate how far I have come.
Let's visualize together. But first, I find a quiet place.....
Go to a place where you can lie down, and do so. If you can't, remain seated but try to get as comfortable and relaxed as you can. Bring your attention to your breath.
Slowly breathe in through your nose. Breathe deeply into the lower part of your abdomen (expanding your diaphragm —the big muscle below your rib cage—downward to expand your lungs) as you say to yourself, “Breathe in.”
Hold your breath for a moment before you exhale. Count to four. Then exhale slowly through your mouth to the count of eight, like you are blowing a large bubble.
As you exhale slowly and deeply, say to yourself, "Relax.”
Pause and wait for your next natural breath.
As you inhale slowly, hold your breath for a moment, notice the parts of your body that tense up.
As you exhale, feel the tension naturally leaving your body. With each exhalation, you will feel more and more relaxed, as you let go of more and more tension.
Do it again. Inhale peace, calm, and relaxation. As you exhale, relax your mind. Do it one more time. Inhale comfort, safety, and healing. As you exhale, relax your mind.
Focus on your toes and feet. Let any tension stored there flow down through the bottoms of your feet and onto the floor.
Bring your attention to your legs, starting with your ankles, shins and calves, knees, and thighs. Just notice what’s there and allow anything that needs to go to flow down through your legs, your feet, and out through the bottoms of your feet.
Pay attention to your hips, bottom, and belly. Let any tightness flow down through your thighs, knees, calves and shins, and out through the bottoms of your feet.
Notice your back, from your lower back all the way to your shoulders. Again let anything that needs to go flow down through your bottom, your thighs, your knees, your calves and shins, and out through the bottoms of your feet.
Notice your stomach, chest, and heart area. Take a deep cleansing breath, and fill your lungs with a cushion of healing air. As you exhale, let go of anything that needs to go. You just don’t need it. Remember a time when you felt thankful for something.
Notice your hands, fingers, thumbs, and wrists. Let go of anything you are holding on to, and let it flow out through the ends of your fingers.
Concentrate on your shoulders and neck, and let anything stored here flow down through your arms, your wrists, your hands, and right out through the ends of your fingers and onto the floor.
Pay attention to your face, including your jaw, cheeks, eyes, and forehead. Scrunch up your cheeks and eyes; hold for a moment and then release.
Pay attention to your brain. Imagine you are inside your head, turning the controls. Bring up thoughts of moments when you were happiest or moments when you will be at your happiest.
Let these thoughts, feelings, and sensations catch your attention, and influence your mood.
Practice for five to twenty minutes at a time.
Finally, once you’ve mastered this exercise, start using it in stressful situations to reduce your tension.
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