Have you ever felt a tingle inside, that something more than your prescribed life is calling for you? I always wanted to be a storyteller but I didn't feel entitled to it. I felt storytelling telling was meant for someone smarted than me or more special than me. I am also the girl that laughs too hard at her own jokes, to hard for anyone to make out the words she is trying to put out. But the dream remained in my heart.
Then Instagram was invented and I join in and begun sharing my pictures. I fell in love with phone photography. Hai, my blog was born out of this passion. I decided that I wanted to write about my wellness journey and express my passions through creating aesthetically pleasing photography.
It grew into a corner of the Internet where you could tag along in the journey of an African woman journey to health and happiness.
Hai is my way of sharing what I have learnt; about mindlfullness, healing, and transformation, with others who might be going through their own share of challenges and difficulties.
It felt great to be creative and I was so excited to share my new found passion with everyone that would lend me an ear. People I loved and respected, strangers on a flight, co-workers, anyone that would listen. I got all kinds of reactions. Some would listen and give advice while others would stay silent and later label me a 'socialite' in later conversations with others. The reactions that stuck with me was my father's. We were having lunch at a restaurant near his office as we normally would when I decided to tell him about Hai. I pitched to him how I would like to go down in history as a photographer, with the likes of Carrie Mae Weems.
She is perhaps the best contemporay photographer. You may know her from the iconic 'Kitchen Table series' which features photographs of staged scenes that explore female identity, experiences and relationships in the context of a traditional female domain in 1990. I wanted to go on about how she received numerous awards, grants, and fellowships, including the prestigious Prix de Roma, The National Endowment of the Arts, The Alpert, The Anonymous was a Woman, The Tiffany Awards, the first US Department of State’s Medals of Arts in recognition for her commitment to the State Department’s Art in Embassies program, the MacArthur “Genius” grant as well as the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation’s Lifetime Achievement Award and the BET Honors Visual Artist award, just to name a few. But the look of disappointment on my father's face cut me short.
For the rest of the meal, I looked down at my plate and focused on not choking on my food.
I could take his reaction personally but I choose not to. My father is loving, intelligent and successful. I respect him tremendously but I also recognize that he and I, and the rest of the world population all have different definitions of success.
To some people, being successful means making lots of money while to others it is realizing a long held dream. Other are even content in finding a life partner and building a home together. To them, they are successful. And who is to say any different.
I am 6 months shy of my 30th birthday, so I find myself pondering on what success looks like for me, especially as an African woman in the 21st century. To the people in my life, success is when they get invited for my baby shower, while to others, I will be successful when I amble to offer them financial support. To my parents, am successful because I am happily married and financially independent, while success to my best friends is us being able to take trips abroad with our spouses.
I am still trying to figure out what success means to me. Some days success means having more autonomy on how I spend my time, because who dreams of labour? Not me! On other days, success would be if I was a billionaire and able to serve my community in a grand way. Wouldn't that be a amazing.
Most days I feel I am successful because I am blessed with a circle of people that love and support me. Parents that pray for me and always gift me my favorite things. A spouse that loves and laughs with me. A group of women that nurture and worship God with me. What more could I ask for?
According to Earl Nightingale, the author of 'The Strangest Secret', success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. When one is working toward their predetermined goal and knows where he or she is going, the person is a success. If they are not doing that, they are a failure.
He goes on to list some successful people. The school teacher who is teaching because that is what he/she wanted to do. The entrepreneur that is running a local business because that what he/she set out to do. The woman who is a wife and mother because that is what she wanted to do and she is doing a good job at it.
The successful person is the one that says I am going to become this and begins to work towards it. Focus on what's on my plate in the present and the future takes care of itself.
See you in the next post.
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