I always sound so confident, don't I? Happy. Healed.
I am, but I'm not absolutely cured. I am significantly better though. I no longer people please. I no longer run around the house cleaning, clearing, catering and being productive just to prove my worth. I can say no. I am learning to pour back into others from a full cup and sometimes, I enjoy socializing. However, I cannot pretend to be absolutely cured. I now hate pretending, imagine that.
Before my healing journey however, I had become good at pretending. I became so good that after a while, the line blurred between my truth and fiction. And sometimes when I did a really good job at pretending, I even fooled myself. Looking back now, I see how sad it sounds because I was mostly just lying to myself. That's why I also cannot lie and say: Do exactly what I did and you will be cured. I cannot lie because lies literally made me sick. The more I lie, the sicker I will stay. I must be honest with you—and myself. This too is part of today's post–Affirming your truth.
Also, telling the truth about my weaknesses makes me less weak. Funny how that works. An anti-vicious cycle. I cannot lie and tell you I am absolutely cured but I can say: I’m better and happier. This is big. That I can walk and talk without fearing what others will say: this is huge! Otherworldly. This is growth.
In the spirit of truth, I wanted to share some affirmations that help me move like the queen I am, even on the days I don't feel all the way there.
My desire to feel like a queen is a childish dream, a girlish desire that budded in my heart long before I knew anything about the real world. But for some inexplicable reason, it's a dream that I longed to come true more than I had ever longed for anything in my entire life. I desperately wanted to live like a queen, dress like a queen and think like a queen.
It's a dream I treasure, even as I grow older. A desire that is rooted in my goal to be a confident, deeply loved woman that lives in service of others. But things don't always go according to plan. I had no way of knowing the weighty price that would soon be demanded of a woman who dares to enter the real world holding on to the foolish dream of becoming a queen.
Much more than polished nails and eternally good hair days, I have learnt that the really necessary requirement for becoming a queen is to find your authentic smile and peace of mind. Here are a few tips on how to get there;
“Happiness begins in me”
Your happiness doesn’t start from other people. No one can make you less happy but you. So, you have to stop relying on others to make you happy. A lot of people say that they are happy on their own, but they don’t live like they are. If a person is truly happy with who they are and as they are, they don’t need to have the validation from anyone.
“I believe that I'm awesome, just the way I am”
Other people will feel if you’re uncomfortable with yourself. Remember that you are unique and outstanding. You have something in you that others don’t have, something that you can share with others to help the world become a better place to live. If you feel good about yourself, you will begin to see the world in a different perspective and you will feel happier about it.
“I respect myself ”
Ignore the negative aspects of your life and focus on your positive aspects. If you want to be able to genuinely love yourself, you have to learn how to respect yourself. Keep in mind that you’re human. Over time, you will commit mistakes and fall hard. You will find it hard to believe in your abilities and skills. But if you look at your wonderful side, you will value yourself highly and begin to respect the person that you have become.
“I appreciate the person that I am”
There’s no better way to feel good from within than to appreciate your own personality. If you believe in yourself, you can do greater things. You won’t be restricted by your limitations. Instead, you will find your limitations as challenges that you need to overcome. Appreciate the fact that after all that you went through, you were able to surpass all the problems in your life even if you’re single.
“I am highly motivated”
Don’t give up when the going gets tough. If you keep on pressing on, you will end up victorious. If you are able to achieve your dreams and overcome your struggles, you will become more successful in life. Motivate yourself to keep on living even if you have to push through life by yourself. Establish your own sort of rewards system. Don’t be afraid to tell yourself that you are doing a good job, and that you are going to treat yourself as a result. Did you do well at work? Treat yourself to that new pair of shoes or solo date. Did you reach a weight loss goal? Go get your hair done or by that next set of weights. There is nothing wrong with being the person who tells yourself that you did a good job.
In fact, it is scientifically proven that we will work harder at something if we know we are going to be rewarded for it in the end.
“I don’t criticize myself too much”
So don’t think lesser of yourself if you aren't where you need to be. Even if you don’t see changes any time soon. Allow the change to gently roll in and wait patiently for its effects in your life.
“I do the things that make you feel beautiful”
Whatever makes you feel beautiful, do it. Don’t hold back from enjoying your beauty simply because you’re single. Do something to make yourself feel beautiful from the inside.
“I take care of myself”
Take care of your body and the way that you look for you and only you. When you care about yourself and like yourself, it will show to the world around you, and you will feel a lot better about yourself.
“I take control, as a habit of life ”
Be in charge of your life entirely. This is a practice you need to get used to because you are a person who has your own mind. You need to get used to that fact now, then make that quality something you look for in others. When you are a person who can make a decision and stick to it, you will naturally stick with people who are the same way. This will make you a lot happier now, and in the future when you are in a relationship or a friendship, you won’t develop the co-dependency that ends up being so harmful.
People may try to suggest things for you, and that is something that will continue throughout your entire life, but you are the one who decides whether to apply those suggestions or not. So take control of your life and make wise decisions.
Above all, don’t allow negativity to creep into your life. Accept that you can’t be perfect, but don’t stay in mediocrity. Always strive to be better, and have the attitude that you are on a journey. Work out to become the best of who you are until you learn to love yourself just the way you are
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